The Secret Life of Manatees

I interrupt these recaps to bring you a post that has been requested by several readers.  I was going to include it in my “Secret Life of Bees” post, but I must heed to the masses (okay, like five people requested it) and discuss the matter earlier.  So instead I bring you… The Secret Life of Manatees.

Manatee Face bump Manatee face bump | hypnotic gif | Bump Animal

Where should I begin?  Well first off, if you’re new to my love of manatees, you can get yourself up to speed on their appearance at the wedding here and here.

And now, you’re probably asking yourself, “Why manatees?”  And that’s a reasonable question.  Unfortunately, I have no answer for you.  Something got lost in translation one evening, and I misread something as saying “manatee” when it actually said something else.  Seems innocuous.  Seems like something you would forget.  But… that’s just not what happened.  We didn’t forget.  And then, as these things sometimes do, it got out of hand.

We became obsessed with manatees.  We had dreams about manatees and dreams about creatures that were half manatee, half other creature.  For no real reason at all, we became obsessed with manatees.

    Oh the hue manatee

Mr. Whale and I visited the manatees at the Cincinnati Zoo.


We adopted a manatee named Chessie.

It’s Going to Be a Whale of a Wedding!  :  wedding announcements college park Chessie

Hi, Chessie!

We just couldn’t get enough of manatees.  And you might think that’s the end of the story.  But then things really got out of control.  (Or in control… it depends on your perspective.)

Fair warning: this might not make any sense.  But… I can’t stop now.  I feel I have to explain myself fully.  (And if you didn’t think I was crazy before this post, I’m sure there will be no doubts after it.)

So… you know the game, right?  Of course you do.  You just lost it.  (Sorry!)  Well… Mr. Whale and our friend Mike (officiant of the wedding, remember him?) had kind of an issue with “the game”.  They couldn’t stop losing.  (For the sake of my dignity, let the record state that I was not involved in the madness of this part of the story.  I did agree to marry one of the individuals involved, but hey, no one’s perfect, right?)

haters gonna hate gif wall-e

Pretty quickly, Mike and Mr. Whale started to taking things way too far.  (If our life had a theme, it would be “taking things too far”.  In fact, I once proposed that Mr. Whale’s strategy in any situation was to “see how weird he can make it before it stops being cool”.  And I stand by that proposition still today.)

how macaroni is made

Whoever invented this way of making macaroni was probably taking things too far. But I’m so glad they did.

Needless to say, they took things so far that Mike suggested that they start using the game to serve another purpose.  Both of them are rather forgetful, but they thought maybe losing the game could remind them that they have something to remember.  And thus, when they lose the game, they think of these things.  Then, Mike proposed that this would actually be winning the game.  But if you’re winning, the game needs a different name.

What’s the new name?  Manatee.


And so, manatees became a helpful tool in our lives, not just cute cuddly sea mammals.

But I’m going to take it just one step further, if you’ll follow me down the rabbit hole of Blue Whale insanity.  So Mr. Whale legitimately uses the manatee to remember things.  It’s for real.  It’s not just a joke.  (Real life is a crazy place sometimes.)  So when it came time to write our vows, we were trying to decide what to write them on.  Then we realized, our vows are something that we want to remember all the time.  We want to strive to stick to them throughout our marriage.  Since the manatee is a memory tool for Mr. Whale, why not actually write our vows on manatees?  So… we did.

And now here we are.  You’re sorry you ever asked, aren’t you?  It’s okay if you think this is all just way too weird for you.  I said it before, and I’ll say it again…

Did you work something quirky into their wedding?  How was it received?


One thought on “The Secret Life of Manatees

  1. Pingback: Writing Your Own Vows | My Big Colorful Wedding

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